Sunday, 24 April 2011

Be Selfish say I Love You, First.

Be Selfish say I Love You, First.
Oh yes. The three most selfish words you can say to someone, I LOVE YOU.
I know, I know it does not match the years of orientation and does not suit your heroic persona you have created for yourself in your mind. But, humor me and answer the following question:
What would you expect/like to hear back as an answer when you say "I Love You" to somebody?
(Let's make it a multiple choice for fun. And, No, you will not win a trip for two to a romantic destination if your answer is right.)
a. I Love you too
b. What?
c. Thanks
Let's say your answer is (a). So you were expecting it to be the reciprocation of your sentiments in an affirmation. May be an acceptance of the proposal if this is a clich├ęd "I love you, will you marry me" kind of proposal.  And this choice of yours, if materialized, would make you feel elated and relieved at the same time. So there was a selfish motive after all behind this.
Wait. Although I have made my point, I have more to say.
On the other hand, if you expect it to be a (b), you shouldn't have said those words in the first place. But let's just say that love is blind and stupid (God I love to be right) and you call up the entire courage in your heart and say it and get the (b). How would it make you feel?
Embarrassed, stupid, sad and may be angry. Anyways, so these words were not innocent, selfless expression of your love.
And I am sure that not many of you would opt for the choice (c). That brings us to the fact that if the words in question were to be non-selfish kind, a simple thank you should suffice.
You say, "I Love You" and
"Thanks," comes the answer.
How would you feel about a "thanks" as an answer to your "I Love You".
Well I would personally prefer saying, "I am not handing you a bottle of ketchup you moron."
So there it is. It IS actually selfish to say I Love you.
But is it really a bad thing to be selfish in this context? 
How many of you have restrained yourself dreading a (b) as an answer and regretted it later?
How many of you are still struggling to call the courage and tell someone that you love her/him?
You toy with the idea of telling someone that you love her (Not using gender biased language is hard work for me, so read appropriate gender for yourself) but you are scared of the universal answer "Oh we are just very good friends" (yeah right).
You are petrified just imagining that you may even lose the friendship you pretend to have with that person. And you will be thrown out of even the "friends" zone.
Then you start doubting your looks, your social status i.e. I'm not good looking enough or I am not rich enough or if I was just six inches taller, if I was just a wee bit fairer etc.
Happier are the people who overcome the fear of rejection.

And please do not tell me that you are waiting for him or her to say it first. That’s just plain stupid.
Be selfish and say I LOVE YOU first. Say it to your parents, your brothers, sisters and everybody and anybody you love. Whatever the answer be, you will live longer and die happier.


  1. Yes I am going to try this dear. Good one.

  2. loved reading it.very well explained.

  3. Thanks Teji. I can only guess who you are. But I am glad you liked it.